Some things are more trouble than they're worth.

Example 1: The Van Of Life
Well, although the food was enjoyable... Cez, Steve and I had been work-partying in her room again, promising ourselves that if we worked solidly from 9pm we'd break for food from the Van at about 1am. All went well, then as we were going out the door Ces pointed out she didn't have her Buttery card - no problem, I had my wallet with me.

However, on reaching the (auto-locking and only openable from the outside by card) Green Street gate to Blue Boar, I realised just about the time I was opening my wallet that actually, I'd lent it to Kieran earlier... and then forgotten to put it back.

Since we were unwilling to immediately go to the porters, there followed quite a few minutes of, "Oh look! Joe's light's on! Joe! OI, JOE!!" before the light went out, immediately followed by, "Oh look! Michael's light's on!"...

We tried shouting for Michael, Mike, and Raccoon several times, but to no avail. Wandering down the street a bit, I found a sizeable and suitably heavy box. We threw it at the window about six times. It made a good noise, and had some exciting and unexpected flight patterns, but Michael still didn't appear.

Giving up, we went to the porters and got them to open Whewell's gate for us. Steve, after a few minutes' musing on the way up the stairs, suggested we should "go smack Michael."

We did.

"Why are you all hitting me?"
"[various accusations about people sitting right beside their window and failing to hear boxes and assorted cries for help]."
"Oh, right. I thought that was drunk people outside."

Gaaaaaaahhh.


Example 2: Venepuncture
I still believe blood donation is worthwhile... it's just that I'd prefer it happened the way they tell you it will.

For those who haven't already heard all my whinging, when I attempted to give blood my apparently quite deep veins made it hard for the nurse to actually raise a vein to make the donation. When she did stick the needle in... paaaaaaaiiiin... after what was probably about two minutes she looked over at me, hyperventilating as quietly as possible on the table, and noted that I was in "some pain, aren't you?" I may have squeaked out a "yes".

"Hmmm... I think I may have hit a nerve, then."
(YOU DID WHAT??)

A few seconds later, after she took the needle out (without taking any blood), she also observed that since I jumped when she hit the nerve, it had made a slight mess of the puncture which would cause bruising. A large patch on the inside of my arm is now a nice greenish blue, with dark red areas that apparently resemble a lip print. Oddness...
Also I have to wait for the bruising to go down... which they tell me will take three weeks... before I can attempt to donate again. Yes... I'm really that stupid. :P


Example 3:Attempting to organise formals
We were suspiciously early for the last formal - but the staff seemed to take a shine to us while we sat waiting for everyone else to show up.

Anyway, that was an aside - the organisation of formals, I have decided, never goes as planned. The formal before the most recent one, I managed to find myself ticketless 5 minutes before we were due to go in. The one that I wanted to arrange for my mother (right, Ma then... I know you're going to complain about me saying "my mother" again) visiting is falling through because even though BA dinner has moved to Thursday, so eliminating any chance of formal on Thursday night, its usual Friday night slot has not been replaced by Formal Hall. So, unless she for some insane reason decides to stay Saturday night as well (not happening... the flight's already booked), formal's off.


And Now For Something Completely Different...ish

Pennying Ettiquette
I'll post the answers - if you really can't work them out - at a later stage. Enjoy.

1) You've just entered Hall and the group is sitting down. No food has arrived. You probably shouldn't:
a) sip some water
b) sip some wine while looking suspiciously at the people nearest you
c) talk
d) watch as the person opposite you attempts to sip some wine, then penny them before the bread arrives
e) make a neat stack of pennies for use in the very-near future

2) You're eating and you get pennied. You:
a) argue
b) down the glass, but reluctantly
c) down the glass of wine, then slip a penny to the person next to you to avenge you

3) You don't want to get drunk tonight. You:
a) announce "I don't want to get drunk tonight"
b) refuse to down the glass when pennied
c) neglect to bring any wine
d) sit near Ramsey and wait for the double-pennying

4) It is acceptable to:
a) Sit holding your glass in the air, even though this means trying to cut steak with a fork
b) Make up pennying rules as you see fit when there are guests from outside your college at the table
c) Double-penny for a free drink
d) Bribe Silvio to penny the entire high table

5) Which of the following is not a suitable explanation for the pennying-downing tradition?
a) the Queen's head's on the penny - she's drowning! (so, drain lakes instead of fishing people out?)
b) Part of a cruel joke long popular with Medics... you think that's just cheap white, do you..?
c) Cambridge students are surprisingly immature.

6) You should never penny:
a) good quality champagne
b) the custard
c) apple juice
d) a glass of water

7) The wine is finished and the pennies have been pocketed until another time. At this point in formal, it is NOT advisable to:
a) Sing Happy Birthday for Ramsey... again
b) Make lewd comments about why Silvio only gave the girls after-dinner mints
c) Examine group and self for signs of drunkenness
d) Steal a coffee cup when the staff aren't looking
e) Try to get people to move in the general direction of the bar or a room party