Formalling
A certain half-Strawberry's parents came up to see him over the weekend and came to Formal Hall with us - it was very entertaining. It's probably just as well he doesn't seem to be easily embarrassed.

A Public Statement

"I, on behalf of myself and in particular my chest, would like to make the following statement.
While certain members of the college, typically those describable as "starer" or "ogler", seem to see no harm in it, the practice of staring must stop forthwith. Staring at the whole of my self, or at my face, I will assume is complementary, unless the expression used resembles that of a gerbil with a squint being force-fed lemon juice and is accompanied by whispered derogatory comments, in which case my feet will take action on behalf of my self somewhere below the midriff of the (male) starer.
My chest has not asked for this kind of spotlight, nor is it even the most obvious candidate for such attentions, in my opinion. Cambridge weather has recently made wearing even light t-shirts near-unbearably warm, and no one has yet forced my male friends to wear extra clothing to avoid unwanted attention (assuming they are already clothed as the law requires), therefore I refuse to cover up in sauna-esque heat simply to avoid those showing the effects of heavy eyeballs.
I ask, therefore, that the men of Trinity learn to focus on the face when talking to female members of college, or more specifically, myself, irrespective of the following factors: strappy tops, "push up" effect of rollercoaster harnesses, and bouncing from any kind of rapid movement that may or may not involve stairs.
We thank you.
Eyes front."

Propaganda!
After some random Conservative candidate's face ended up in my pigeonhole TWICE I decided to get rid of the damn leaflets. At some point between pigeonhole and recycle bin I looked at Celery and said (paraphrased), "Why don't we blanket Richard's room with these?"

Well... we went and knocked on his door to check if it was safe to stick lots of leaflets underneath - unfortunately he was actually inside. After being let in, Celery suggested I show Richard "the cool thing we found on the way over" while she stayed to check her emails. I may have smiled at an inappropriate time, arousing suspicion... at any rate, after a stupid "It's over there... left a bit... damn Wolfson's in the way," conversation at the kitchen window, we all left - Celery stopping by at James Howard's room, me walking Richard towards a corner of the Wolfson to point at an empty patch of pavement and tell him there was something REALLY REALLY COOL here and I'm bullshitting we were trying to get you out of your room...

At some point near BB O, I mentioned we may have managed to carry out the plan anyway... at which point Richard returned to his room fairly quickly.
Apparently, what he found was Cez standing behind James, who was working on picking the lock to Richard's door.

He was greeted by a fairly happy "Oh, hello, Richard."
Apparently after hearing I'd admitted to bullshitting Cez voiced the opinion that I should have "tied him to the bed in pretense of sex"... right... you know, as delay tactics go, that one probably wouldn't have occurred to me...

Still not knowing exactly what was going on at his room, Richard returned to BB O to tell me how he had foiled our evil plans. At which point Celery settled for shoving about 50 leaflets under his door in all possible directions.


Coupley couples, with their...coupleness...
One word... but first, imagine the swelling bass and gradual drum that is the intro to "Elevation" by U2...

duum, duum-duum, duum duum, duumduum...
"ANN-ICK-DAL-ER!"

...
...
...

Finally
Presentations are shite.
Life is otherwise very, very good.

Happy - :)