Testing...

Okay...

So, after a previous attempt at a blog (reason for failure: I was 14 and had nothing to say), something like 5 half-arsed attempts at diaries (reason for failure: I can't even remember how many I had, does it *look* like I gave a shit about them?) and the Book, which thankfully is still alive and well or as much so as these things can be, I'm going to try for a proper weblog.

This could be entertaining. Although I suspect a lot of it will be along the lines of, "I have too much work. We got drunk last night. Vicky is too loud."

She is, you know.

Damned hoover.

[Edit: 5:30pm]
Yay. My blog doesn't allow me to upload photos. That's a good start.

Instead, for your entertainment, here is (apparently) how the world is *actually* run...


In order to understand the world today, you need to realize that everything is controlled by Illuminati members with VISA cards, with help from people wearing glasses.
The conspiracy first started back when men were men and sheep were nervous, during the formation of Trinity College's first Maths Society (the sheep refused to attend). They have been responsible for many terrible events throughout history, including Police Academy sequels 2 through 7.
Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by T-Shirts saying "I'm with the Conspiracy"and their habit of correcting everyone's grammar.
They want to seriously maim all God-fearing Christians, God-hating Christians, non-Christians and anyone unable to recite pi to a minimum of 10 digital places. Their usual method is bludgeoning with bunny slippers, rubber hammers and a fluffy pillow, which sounds ineffective until you realise all items were first locked in a heavy-duty safe. Those who resist are transported to and imprisoned in St John's College using bicycles - lots and lots of bicycles, and a few leftover monorail cars Disneyland didn't want.
In order to prepare for this onslaught, we all must corner the market on CPSs and send death threats to Margaret Thatcher. Thatcher isn't actually involved, it'd just be funny. Since the media is controlled by the government, and therefore linked to the conspiracy, we should get our information from the secret messages hidden in the ingredients list of the cornflakes packet.

The above made with help from a "conspiracy theory generator". Yeah, I've had a productive day.

Later (standby for further instructions on tomorrow's milk container).