Adorable and topical.
I've been pretty down the past few days, although my mood generally picks up a lot when surrounded by friends (this is not rigidly true in all cases, as my mood can apparently be quite easily dashed to bitty pieces by being on the receiving end of a well-placed snubbing-of-hello-and-sitting-as-far-away-as-possible-in-large-gathering). The problem with this is a) it's exam term, and it would be stupid, not to mention selfish, to expect people to be ready to gather at any point just to stop my mood dropping, and b) large gatherings are not often conducive to getting much work done, and work is what I really need to be focusing on right now.
Unfortunately, when feeling low, work is usually impossible to focus on, meaning I need to see or talk to people to lift my mood, meaning I lose revision time, meaning when people leave, my mood is worse than before since it's now tinged with panic, meaning work is impossible to even look at let alone give the attention it deserves.
So, a fairly terrifying cycle has begun.
I'm going to be focusing as much as possible on sorting this out in the next few days, but I'm also taking a trip home for a few days early next week to de-stress and see if my parents can't get me to study right - I've spent quite a few years now doing what they tell me, so I'm hoping ingrained habit will win out over recent panic... :P
3 comments:
Wow, you're so noble. Stomaching your depression so not to distract your friends from revising for their exams, such a soldier. Any lesser person would be calling people and pestering them just to get cheered up, but no, not you. You're too thoughtful for that, you just post it on your blog...
...which your friends read.
Wow, you're so noble. Calling the world's attention to how horrible my own personal faults, which I've freely admitted to online, are; such a saint. Any lesser person would be letting a post like that pass them by, figuring they neither know the person and whether this is a venting of real problems & PSA on the fact they're leaving for a few days, or just another idiotic 14-year-old emo looking for attention before they go off to write a poem about how traumatic their Maths exam is going to be.
But no, not you. You're too heroic for that, you must campaign under your heroic cloak of anonymity against all those people who draw some enjoyment and catharsis from writing on an unpublicised and largely ignored site somewhere on the internet, when that message is distasteful to people who think like you; how superficial I am to put my own thoughts on to an internet site. It's almost like I'm trying to make out these thoughts should have some importance to anyone else; if they weren't important, surely I wouldn't refer to them as deposits of "ramblings" on the front page! How dare I post on the internet, where the real people like you can be upset and enraged by my callousness simply by looking up this site and deliberately reading it looking for something to take exception to. My God, think of the children!...
...retard.
If you know me in real life - you know, that place where I spend the majority of my time - why don't you come and say this kind of thing to my face? Could it be that you are unwilling to cause a scene or have anyone think less of you, making you guilty of the crimes of superficiality and self-obsession that you're accusing me of? I'll gladly clear up any misconceptions you've decided to have about me.
If you don't... seriously, shut the fuck up. I'm not going to go for the over-defensive cliché of "nobody cares" since I felt compelled to write a response this time, but honestly - are you actually that short of attention and respect in real life that you've taken to attempting to shoot down bloggers who don't appeal to you? Three basic steps for you: turn off the computer, open the front door, and get your obese, pimpled arse out into the REAL FUCKING WORLD. You know that place that I mostly write this blog about? No? Didn't think so. Get out there, live a life, feel the lows as well as the highs (and no, that time your level 35 character in WoW died because of lag or whatever DOES NOT COUNT), get laid for fuck's sake.
You're welcome.
Ditto...
...twat
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