Special Fried Rice FTW

I made special fried rice for myself today... initially I thought that dumping some Sainsbury's mixed veg (broccoli, cauliflower, carrots and peas) in to the same pan as fried egg bits and mushrooms was a travesty. You can imagine how much the picture was worsened by the presence of rice in the pan as well.

But it was really nice.

1) Put rice on to boil. Guesstimate how much is needed.
2) Forget what time the rice was put in the saucepan.
3) Decide it doesn't matter and put frozen vegetables into a saucepan to boil.
4) Stand around for a bit.
5) Check vegetables and wonder why they still look frozen when you turned the heat up to...
6) Check dial and realise the dial is set to 1. Rectify.
7) Drain riii...I don't have a colander. Or a sieve. Bollocks.
8) Drain rice in borrowed colander and dump on a plate. Wash and return colander making a mental note to invest in one later.
9) Fry an egg (the quick way - both sides) and some mushrooms. Feel slightly scared by the size of the mushrooms.
10) Cut up the egg and mushrooms and consider doing the same with the mixed veg but they haven't heated up yet goddammit what the hell is wrong with this hob.
11) Put all the rice into the frying pan and douse in soy sauce (not that unhealthy; I bought the low-salt one). Do the usual stirring around and turning over thing that you do when frying large amounts of stuff. The rice gets a nice brown soy-sauce-doused colour.
12) Throw in the cut-up stuff and stir around again. It looks tasty but the presence of fried eggs and mushrooms makes my arteries reflexively quiver in fear.
13) Has that hob heated up y... oh look, the vegetables are boiling over.
14) Drain vegetables and cut up the big bits into nice small ones that will blend in with the rice.
15) Everything into the frying pan. It looks healthier now there are green and orange and white vegetable bits in there too. Thanks to this juxtaposition, the egg now looks like a respectable protein source. The mushrooms still look like mushrooms.
16) Admire the fact that the food heap rises about an inch from the base of the very small pan.
17) Throw on more soy sauce for good measure. Try to stir. Almost lose an eighth of the pan contents. Assume a very careful stirring technique.
18) There's never a clean plate when you need one.
19) Food! I have food! My preciousssss... Hide away in room and eat food. Come out again afterwards (briefly) to get milk from the fridge for tea.
20) Preciousssss. [burp]